Tim and I had a pretty classic commute today, on our way to a meeting with the wonderful people at Yahoo! Music. Tim was driving, which is an adventure all by itself. We were preparing to make a perfectly legal left turn, when out of the bleu comes a crazy French guy on a motorcycle. I can't describe how ridiculous this guy looked... sort of like Zaphod Beeblebrox
doing an impression of DJ Qualls
, while charging at us at full speed, clearly ignoring the red traffic light that's begging him to stop.
When he finally does see the light, the bastard stops short, leaving us in the middle of the intersection with opposing lanes of traffic barreling down on us at high rates of speed. Tim, bless his heart, was able to back out of the intersection and into the left turn lane with just moments to spare. We sat and we cursed. A lot. It's always fun to curse with Tim, because he does it in perfect high-pitched harmony, just like he sings.
With our light turned green, we were now forced to pass crazy motorcycle guy, for whom I was busily working up my best two-hands-in-the-air, "what the fuck was that?" move, until I noticed him waving at us with a stupid grin on his face. The only reaction my reptilian brain could muster was a middle finger extended in his direction. Remember: Giving in to road rage
a bad idea
In a split second the crazy man had u-turned, and was now screaming through my window at me. I couldn't make out every word, but his basic point was this: "Zye tweye to apowogize and zyou give me ze fingeh!!"
I told Tim to step on it, and we took off, weaving through the streets of Hollywood with a crazy biker on our tail. At every traffic light, he would pull up parallel to us, point to the side of the road and scream "Zye don't zyou pull ovah and let me zhow you a fingah!!!"
Which part of this interaction is most ridiculous?
a. That he was ready to throw down after receiving the (well-deserved) bird.
b. That he actually believed Baldy and Shrimpy Dandy Suit would brawl on the side of the road with him.
c. That he used "let me show you a finger" as a threat.
d. The post-facto blogging of it.
Finally, he caught up to us at a light, left his bike in the middle of the road
and walked up to the car. He bent down and rested his arms on the bottom of Tim's open window while leaning his head into the car to give Tim a not-too-subtle warning: "Zyou bettah tell zyour fwiend he should be careful where he puts his fingahs!!" In a stroke of genius, frustration and fear, Tim turned to our assailant, looked him in the eye, and, at the top of his lungs, yelled "WE'RE LATE FOR A MEETING!" before flooring it to freedom.
In retrospect, I'm really happy all this happened.
Speaking of (possibly) French people, last week we filmed the video for "Do What You Want" with a definitely French person, Olivier Gondry, who's done videos for the Vines, Hot Hot Heat, The Stills, and many more. He used a super-cool camera setup to possibly create Matrix-esque spins and pans. Here's a picture I took with my phone: