Chapter Eleven: We Are Scientists

Tucson is pretty far from Austin. I am experiencing this right now.

That is science.

Love,

Rusty

Chapter Ten: Rock En Español

I've heard a lot of good things about Austin, both in a city and music-scene sense. Unfortunately, it was cold and rainy and we didn't have much time to check out the place. What I saw was nice, though, and Stubb's definitely gave us enough delicious BBQ to induce a two-hour food coma. Hopefully next time we come through, we'll be able to spend more time in the capitol. The fans definitely lived up to their billing and were fantastic.

Thanks to all who came out on an unpleasant evening. While I can't commit to having a daily quote from the band, I must report this little gem overheard from Def Def Definitely Dan: "I can hear Spanish and understand some of it... but mostly just swears."

Te quiere,

Rusty

Chapter Nine: Here, There and Underwear

Just east of Town Hall and across the railroad tracks in Denton, Texas you'll find a small, nondescript little building with the letters "RGRS" on the front. The place is called "Rubber Gloves," and yes, I spent literally 10 minutes trying to figure out how "Rubber Gloves" = "RGRS" (we later found out that there are a number of rehearsal studios in the building making the full establishment name "Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Space"...crafty). Inside, you'll find one of the coolest bars/rock clubs this side of Dubya with a great jukebox and cool staff to boot.

A word to the wise: don't go shopping with Damian. Having got a week and a half into the tour we took the trek to the local Denton shopping mall to pick up socks and underwear. This should be easy. It took me about three minutes to grab what I needed when I noticed Damian intently staring at the underwear rack:

Damian: "Don't you think the selection here is a little weird?"
Me: "Uhh, I don't know, why?"
Damian: "Like, look at these [picks up a pair of drawers]. It's possible that these will have too much fabric and then you'll just be swimming in it."
Me: "OK."
Damian: "But these over here [picks up another pair], there's a decent chance they'll be too small, and that you definitely don't want...I mean, Jesus, just get those off of me...you know what I mean?"
Me: "I guess."
Damian: "I'm just not familiar with their selection."
Me: "Dude, it's underwear, who cares?"
Damian: "No, I can't deal with this...we have to go somewhere else."
Me: "[sigh] Alrighty."

This happened two more times in other department stores (I shit you not). From now on all my interactions with Damian will be non-undergarment related, I promise you.

Love,

Rusty

Chapter Eight: The Tour Rolls On, Barely

People not in cars,

We're driving through Kansas and Oklahoma en route to Texas today. Clearly, I don't have much to write about. Dan and merch-King extraordinaire Mike Clark literally rolled a quarter-mile into a gas station after our gear truck ran out of gas on the highway. Rock and roll or sheer stupidity? You be the judge.

Love,

Rusty

Chapter Seven: The Explode-Implode Explodes

Web citizens,

We hit Columbia, MO today. Less cocaine and balmy sunshine than its South American namesake, but I did get a tasty bowl of borscht at a vegetarian restaurant called Main Squeeze. After the show, a fan taught me a hot new handshake/hi-five which I feel compelled to share with the rest of the world. It's called the "explode-implode".

Here's how you pull it off:

1. Both hi-fivers start with a closed fist.


2. Bang the fists together and immediately pull away while opening your hand (making an explosion sound at this point is highly advisable).


3. Once you've fully retracted you should be in perfect position to go in for a normal hi-five.


4. Complete the hi-five, but immediately pull back and re-close your fist (again, a sound effect is preferred, this time making a "shhhhhhmmmp" to simulate the implosion of your hand and proper end to your greeting).

It may take practice, but it's delicious. On to Texas!


Love,

Rusty

Chapter Six: Love Will Tear Us Apart

Madams and sirs,

Two self-proclaimed superfans from Chicago made the seven and half hour drive to see us (in Ames, Iowa), then spent the entire show yelling insults. They stuck around afterwards to explain, in intoxicated and repetitive detail, that they love us so much that they feel entitled complain about everything we do. "We've been hearing things about your new album," they said with a ominous squint. "It better not be different from the old album..." I had no idea that fan-ship was such a love-hate affair...

Love,

Rusty

Chapter Five: The Band Gets Competitive

Rockers (also, Rollers),

Today was the tour's first off-day. We drove from Chicago to Ames, Iowa where we'll be playing a show at the Maintenance Shop tomorrow night. With the night off and a recreation center in the building in which we're staying, there was only option: skills competition!

Damian, our merch guy Mike, (a quick note on our touring crew: we're out with our tour manager, Mike Kent, and our merch guy, Mike Clark. Put their names together and you get "Mike Mike" and "Clark Kent." Am I the only one who finds this fascinating?), and myself hit the bowling alley first. (A quick note about the bowling alley - it's called "The Strike Zone", which is a decent name for a bowling alley except for the fact that the building in which it's located is called the "Union Building." Damian made the excellent point that the "Union Strike" would be far more appropriate and clever. I have to agree. Am I also the only one who finds this fascinating?)

Damian showed up on top, rolling a fine 144 to my 122 and Clark's 75. To Clark's credit, he was doing the spinny ball thing where you make the ball loop around to the middle of the pins, and we're pretty certain that the lanes weren't oiled correctly... or maybe he wasn't. I saved face by besting DK(NY) in an extremely close game of pool. It truly was a night of recreation in a center designed for just that purpose.

If you are here at Iowa State, come on out tomorrow night and enjoy the rock!

Love,

Rusty

Chapter Four: Back To The Bottle Again

OK Goers,

Unfortunately, the Empty Bottle will now be known as the place were all of OK Go's clothing remained intact at the end of the show. Fortunately, the show rocked and it was a pleasure to play for a great Empty Bottle crowd. It's weird to think that was my first show there and OK Go's millionth. Nonetheless, it's a great venue and I'm sure we'll be back soon.

Following the show, I was taken some place called Maxwell St. for a true Chicago dining experience (the airport bratwurst just wasn't enough to satisfy my craving for spiced, cured meats). And let me tell you: for $2.20 that's the best damn sausage and fries this side of [insert place where sausages and fries are supposedly good—maybe heaven?].

Love,

Rusty

Chapter Three: We Dance Our Pants Off

Rock lovers,

So, the OK Go 2005 Spring Pant-Rip Bonanza continues. Yes friends, Damian's pants once again were torn apart last night, this time busting from the crotch to the knee. I'm starting to think that he just wants to take his pants off on-stage and this is his twisted excuse for doing so.

The high point of the evening was definitely the "make-out scene". Allow me to explain: during the opening act (This Is Me Smiling -- who were cool, btw) there was a couple on the side of the room going at it. I mean, holy shit, this was some making out... the four of us in the band were pretty sure their lips were actually attached. Anyway, before we played our ultra-romantic steamy love ballad "Oh No", Damian convinced said couple to come onstage and lip-lock for the entire audience. Success!

I also had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Duncan for the first time... an extremely nice man with excellent taste in pants. He seems to be doing well and I assured him that I'd do everything in my power to uphold the legacy of Slam Duncan.

Hope to see you at the Empty Bottle tonight!

Love,

Rusty

Chapter Two: I Am Not A Stripper Pole

Rock lovers,

OK Go's first show of the 2005 season was quite a success. And by "success" I mean Damian's rockstar pants busted open at the seams (literally almost ripping entirely in half), revealing the pure essence of rock and roll.

We're in the preliminary stages of drafting a new band resolution: Fans are not allowed to use OK Go members or crew as strippers poles. I was attacked in an incident that went from funny to uncomfortable to terrifying in matter of seconds. You had to be there.

I'm still working on my solo for the dance routine and I need ideas. If you're at a show and have some hot moves please show me. Tim's been trying to help me out, but his shit is so fresh that I just can't keep up.

Thanks to those who came out the Annex! I had a wonderful time in my de-flowering OK Go experience.

Love,

Rusty

Chapter One: Tour Begins, As Does Indigestion

Hi, my name's Andy Ross aka A–Ross aka Rusty and I'm the new guitar player for OK Go. I'm pretty sure they picked me for my musical abilities but I have a sneaking suspicion that they just wanted someone named Andy in the band. I'm still working on the "Duncan" aspect but as far my first name goes, we're golden.

Right now we're in Wisconsin. I've been to Wisco once before for a camping trip and it involved a lot bratwurst (sp?). I'm pleased to report that within 20 minutes of landing in Milwaukee (sp? –– damn, this state is challenging), Damian and I each enjoyed an airport brat (that's the food… keep your mind out of the gutter people). Damian described the meal as "enjoyable" but disappointing as far as bratwurst experiences go. Not being the connoisseur that Damian is, I would have to describe the experience as "caloric" and "sausagey".

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to playing in front of all of you. If you're at a show, please come up and say hi...I'm a nice fellow–guy.

Love,

Rusty