Thursday, February 02, 2006

Chapter Fifty-Six: Hooligans Are Cool Again
I usually start my first post after a long absence with an apology and an explanation for why you haven't been entertained by me on a daily (or semi-daily, or, let's be realistic, weekly) basis. This time I offer no such pleasantries. The fact is that if I hadn't posted soon, Jorge was going to perform a wrestling move on me that he calls "El Abuelo Sucio," AKA "the dirty grandfather." Needless to say, I wasn't interested in finding out what that was.

When we were in England, Damian, Milosh, our tour manager Mike Kent and I went to an FA Cup soccer-I-mean-football match. Here're all the juicy details:

Leeds United vs. Wigan Athletic

One could say I'm the "sports guy" in the band, meaning that I like following sports, especially baseball, but not meaning that I'm "sporty" or "athletic," because let's face it: I'm not. At some point in high school you've got to trade in your cleats for a guitar if you want to really pursue music. That's what I did, yet somehow I still end up wearing a funny costume and doing a choreographed dance every night. Go figure.

I've never been to a European soccer-I-mean-football game, but have wanted to for a long time, so I scoured the football (which is what 'soccer-I-mean-football' is appropriately called there) fixtures (which is what 'schedule' is weirdly called there) for a game that would fit into our unrelenting schedule. The only match I could find was in Leeds, between Leeds United and Wigan Athletic. Wigan was the better team, but Leeds was also pretty good. We would be rooting for the underdog in their home stadium...perfect.

We got good seats a few rows off the field and, quite luckily, right next to all of Wigan's fans. It was lucky because it put us right in the thick of the crossfire between the Leeds & Wigan boosters, a wonderful place to be since their angry chants were easily the best part of the game. It started nicely enough, with the Leeds fans screaming "We are Leeds! We are Leeds! We are Leeds!" and the Wigan supporters yelling "Come on Wigan! Come on Wigan!" This prompted the Leeds fans to respond with "Fuck off Wigan! Fuck off Wigan!" in the same exact melody and rhythm, and the real game was on. You'll be shocked to hear that OK Go became deeply involved in this exchange, and even more shocked to know that we ended up attaching ourselves to the (usually more vulgar) Leeds side of the argument.

In the States, even at the most heated Red Sox-Yankees games, I've never heard an entire stadium buzz with such gratuitous use of melodic group cussing. I guess Americans view sport as entertainment; the British as life-and-death. Even the seven-year-old in the row behind us was shouting things like, "I don't care if you get sent off... break his legs! BREAK HIS LEGS!! MAKE IT HURT!!!" It was adorable.

The match itself was fantastic. Wigan scored first; Leeds tied it minutes later. In the second half, Wigan again jumped out ahead only to have Leeds tie it with a penalty kick. Regulation time ended and the game went into extra time. In a crushing blow, Wigan scored about ten minutes into overtime. Their fans were rabid... the game was pretty much over and they knew it. Twenty minutes remaining went to fifteen, down to ten, down to eight.

With about seven minutes left, Leeds miraculously sent in the game's equalizer: an authoritative goal that slammed into the back of the net. The stadium went ballistic. Where certain defeat had been in their hearts, the Leeds fans had been given new life - a tie game - and they did what we all do in these situations: they immediately turned on the now-silent fans of the visiting team. Only three hours earlier, I may have passed some of these people on the street, exchanging smiles, "hallo's" and a warm sense of convivial brotherhood. Now I was violently screaming at them to ingest parts of their own genitals, parts of other peoples genitals, and possibly even parts of their family's genitals. I can't remember...I had gone insane, brought to a blurred frenzy by the sight of someone I will never meet kicking a round piece of leather through a rectangle. Behold, the power of sports.

In the end, Leeds lost on penalty kicks and Wigan's fans got the last laugh. It would have been a devastating loss for me, had I grown up in Leeds. But I grew up in the United States, so it was pretty easy to process the outcome intellectually, safe in the knowledge that the Red Sox were two months away from spring training.

Which brings us to the moral of this story: OK Go is badly in need of some soccer-I-mean-football style chants. Please write some for us. They can pit us against other bands, or even pit us against ourselves, band member vs. bandmember. Be creative, be cruel, and always remember: use lots of swearing.

Love,
Rusty

29 Comments:

Anonymous AudioGirl said...

Be careful what you wish for. There's a vast difference between a show where people are there to listen to the music, dance, drink, and meet the opposite sex in a biologically and alcohol-driven attempt to mate, and a sporting-event specifically geared to raise everyone's testoterone levels in an alcohol-driven attempt to bond with a mass of frenzied humans intent upon identifying with the team who hopefully wins the contest (which, come to think of it, actually sounds like a lot of fun).

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw that sounds like fun! I can't wait to be over in England at football matches yelling at people I don't know. The joys of sports in England!

12:20 PM  
Anonymous dana said...

Well, firstly, I must say that I did a dance of elation when I found out that my beloved Rusty had posted once again. I even let out a "HELL YEAH" which sent my mother running in question my motives.
Secondly, I must also say that the mental image of you boys (probably in paisley pants) going balls-to-the-wall at a football match in Leeds is quite entertaining to me. Probably one of the more plesant things I've had in my head all day.
Thirdly, and lastly, is the challenge. The only good one I've come up with is one for another band-a rival group, maybe-and all it isn't really a chant. It's more of a "FUCK YOU, BASTARDS!!"

Hope it comes in handy.

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amazing that your posting a blog update when you left the band last week Andy...

6:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh boys! I am soooo psyched for you to come to NMU, I was quite suprised when I heard last semester since in my opinion we are pretty much in the middle of nowhere. lol. Its beautiful, but..Anyway, its sold out! I want tickets, the radio people said you might be giving away your extra tickets. I need to go and wear my really old okgo shirt and sing all the words. I have liked you guys for so long that when I was 17 you guys sang happy birthday to me at the metro and I loved it! And I am in the dance company at NMU so I can easily do your million ways dance, which by the way is hilarious, but really is awesome choreographically, I would love to hear the story behind that one! Alright if you can help me out, send me an email at hulapixies@aol.com. Mwa, Im so exicted, I will find a way to go even if I have to stand in the hall and listen out in the hallway! EEEE, thanks
Megs

8:01 PM  
Anonymous angela said...

A sing-songy chant that can be yelled at other bands when the urge takes you...

"You're shit, and you know you are,
Can't play a note, you just molest your guitar,
You can't sing in tune,
You're crappy clothes don't fit,
You're shit, you're shit, you're shit"

Hope that's snappy enough.

Also, please come back and play in Manchester soon! I got you guys to sign my ipod last month and a week later it broke. I need you to sign my new one :(

5:25 AM  
Blogger silverpistola said...

OH MY GOSH! I work for Wigan athletic in their home stadium. I can't BELIEVE you guys were at that match.
You are even cooler in my eyes.

I support Liverpool and one of our favourite chants is:
'I am H A P P Y, I am H A P P Y! I know I am, I'm sure I am I am H A P P Y!'

Not particularly cruel, but we're a nice bunch.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahah i learned the million ways dance too! what an amazing dance...everyone who i show it to falls in love with you...just like i did. anyways...i'm still working on the chant...but i'm not great in the whole write-your-own original stuff...but i'm working on it!

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

considering you boys bring some of the most serious academic posturers out of the wood work, i think i'll lighten the mood, while remaining safe in the knowledge that i'm smarter than everyone else who posts on these things. that said, is "andy, please make out with damian for my viewing pleasure" allowed?

1:18 PM  
Blogger Katy* said...

"Amazing that your posting a blog update when you left the band last week Andy..."

What? Were you reading the thread that HFoC bumped up to the front page of the boards to freak people out? 'Cause that was a joke. And it was hilarious.

Welcome back, Rusty! My roomie and I haven't come up with a chant, but perhaps we will soon...hmmm...

1:30 AM  
Anonymous merrrg-wyn said...

huh...

"Ok Go" is kind of a chant in and of itself..

a pretty lame one, but an awesome nname for a band.

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's that smell?
Can't you tell?
Andy fell in some nasty gel!
So give 'em hell and yell yell yell!
Ring your bell.
Sell your Dell.
Listen to some Pell Mell just as well...

(Only what I have so far... anyone want to contribute?)

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just checked your tour dates and u r gonna be hitting the wedgewood rooms in pompey on the wednesday... however on the saturday they are playing the arsenal (thierry henry, who is by far one of the worlds best players up there with ronaldinho) suffice to say arsenal whooped pompey last year and the pompey fans were singing the praises of the arsenal team.... an unknown occurence in the premiership......... if you are unable to attend the game i suggest you try to contact SOCCER AM either TIM LOVEJOY or HELEN CHAMBERLAIN and get a guest spot on their highly rated sports show where not only do they play your vid but have their audience send in video footage from their phones and show on a weekly basis... hope to see you guys @the wedgewood brassaibresson at my space http://www.myspace.com/brassaibresson

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Personally I just feel like chanting, "Andy's Back...Andy's Back..."

Because I'm so happy that Andy's back. : )

Audioblogs and Rusty posts and now flickr photos too? [sigh] It is just like old times again.

8:06 PM  
Blogger you_go_girl said...

How about...

P-A-I-S-L-E-Y
We look so fly, we make girls cry
And when we do our closing dance
Those other bands don't stand a chance
Hey we can't help what they ain't got
Our fans agree we're SO DAMN HOT!

8:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!! i CAN NOT believe i just read that!!im from good ol Dub but I support Leeds!that was a great game!! Btw Lucky u Leeds are known for their lets just say obsenities!
MWAH X

5:25 PM  
Anonymous corkie said...

about a year ago, i went to england with my high school soccer team. we watched a match too, and it was one of the best parts the the entire trip! uk fans definitely put us american fans to shame!

i'll get a few of my friends together and we'll write you some sick chants. :)

good luck with the tour and everything.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous AdaM said...

alright lads! saw u lot on soccer am on saturday and i thought ur dance was amazing! i put ur video up on my site if its ok with you guys. Free publicity dont hurt lol, me and my mates talk about your dance in college and we just love it!

I heard you like West Ham's Song, thats a very good choice, i am a west ham supporter myself and our fan base is incredible, if u wanna support a team, support west ham, so much better than (league lower than us) leeds lol

i'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty Bubbles in the air
they fly so high
nearly reach the sky
just like my dreams
they fade and die

Fortunes always hiding
i've looked everywhere

i'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air!!!

United! *clap clap clap*
United! *clap clap clap*

kind regards! you guys rock and check out my site!

peace ...

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Rob Sutherland said...

How about...

The Famous OK GO went to London for a gig...

The Famous OK Goooo went to London for a gig...

The Famous OK Gooo went to London for a gig and this is what they said...

DAMN HOT
Who's that band they call the Gooo-ers
Who's that band we all adore?
Its the band who know the score
Their performances never bore...

AND RON NOADES' MOTHER IS A WHOR...very nice woman!

(Chant borrowed from my team Crystal Palace, but adapted by myself!)

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Andrew Norris said...

Im a Blackburn Rovers fan and they play in the enlish premier league and we chant this to are rivals Burnley football club:

Your mum's your dad, your dad's your mum, your interbred you're burnley scum.

7:50 AM  
Anonymous MB said...

Ok I made this up trying to make up a chant... but it turned into this...

Tim Oh Tim Oh Tim Oh Tim,
Hes the one with the funkyest rims.
All Dressed up, sometimes in teal,
Tim Oh Tim you Make me squeal.

Andy the great, Andy the Handy,
Rocks Vocals, Keyboards and guitar.
Quite Dandy.
Hes got Sideprojects, but keeps it a secret
Dakota Ring Rocks, go out and go steal it.

Dan Dan Dan, Hes the Man,
He can keep a beat on an old tin can,
Decked out in a Berret, or and awesome fedora
No wonder your the one I adore-a.

Damian he rocks, what can I say?
All the girls melt when he looks their way.
Hes got the look, Hes got the Swagger,
Even when drunk, hes more talented than Jagger.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright lads Leeds fan here. Was a cracking night.

As you're now blatantly Leeds fans you could adopt a few of our chants. Fans favourite is WACCOE

We are the Champions
Champions of Europe

Chanted over and over for as long as possible, shirt swinging is optional. Great laugh.

Either that or something like...

We had joy we had fun
We had Timberlake (any band name) on the run
But the joy didn't last
The bastard ran too fast

WAS

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angelina is a dirty girl
She's such a F*cking ho
And when she's blowing Brad
She dreams of OK GO!!!!!

5:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you guys rock so much, my friend starts humming 'a million ways' in class (we're only 12, you see...) and I absent mindedly dance to it.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey up fellas, saw you on Soccer Am, nice moves!!! I'm a Liverpool fan myself [Champions of Europe not once, not twice , but five times.... yes five times.] Have you guys heard "You'll never walk alone" by Jerry and the Pacemakers, its Liverpools anthem, when sung by 40,000 makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, perhaps not if you support the SHIT [sorry Man UTD going down at the weekend]

"You'll Never Walk Alone"

When you walk through a storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark,
At the end of the storm is a golden sky.
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown,
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.
You'll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.
You'll never walk alone


Not offense though. A chant that always cracks me up is one the Chester City fans sing about Wrexham [team from just over the border in wales]. It goes as follows I think [sung to a tune I cant remember];

One day I asked my mother what should I be?,

Should I be Chester, should I be Welsh here's what she said to me,

"Wash you mouth out son and get your fathers gun and shoot the Wrexham scum, shoot the Wrexham scum",

SHEEP, SHEEP, SHEEP SHAGGERS!!!

SHEEP, SHEEP, SHEEP SHAGGERS!!!

4:36 PM  
Blogger Peter Bloor said...

Guys, welcome to english football. Im from portsmouth, England and we have the craziest fans in the country. You should come and get some inspiration considering im delighted to see your playing at the legendary wedge!
classic chants from recent times:

(vs Ipswitch from a typically farming based surrounding.and there fans were standing up)
"SIT DOWN ON YOUR TRACTOR SEAT"
said in a drunk, disordially way...
(vs man u.being so famous they have fans from everywhere, so we took the piss and suggested they came from a town a short distance from Portsmouth)
"FUCK OFF BK TO GUILDFUILD! LA LA LA OH! LA LA LA LA OH!
(vs chelsea, owned by a mysterious russian billianaire)
"1-0 TO THE MAFIA!"

The best chants are saved for our rivals

"the scummers" or southampton if i can bare to say it. "i once met a poor lil scummer. his face was all tattered and torn, he made me feel sick. so i hit him with a brick and now he aint singing no more!"

pure class, symbollises the hatred perfectly.

So songs for u guys....
It’s a toughie! Considering your name is so short. How about
"oh ah ok-go say oh ah ok-go!"
Trust me, will be a gem, a classic with us football fanatics.
"OOOOOk-Goooooo, Ok go from the USA, are by far the greatest band the world has ever seen and its OOOOOOOOOOK-Gooooooooo....."

Thats all i can think of at the moment dudes. I shall leave you to ponder. but wen u hear those chants in portsmouth! ur know its me!
Wen ur in portsmouth the gig is located in fratton which tbh is a shit hole. so spend the day at portsmouth harbour and the new outside shopping (very different and in my opinion better than ur typical American mall) , cinima complex... its by the sea and called "gun wharf" its well worth a trip. You will love it. THANKS YOU ROCK!
PETE X

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm from a little unknown town not far from the Soccer AM studios. The team i support is Non-League so utter poo in other words. We have a chant that goes.... IF I HAD THE WINGS OF A SPARROW, IF I HAD THE ARSE OF A COW, I'D FLY OVER (insert away teams name here) AND SHIT ON THE BASTARDS below BELOW! SHIT ON, SHIT ON, SHIT ON THE BASTARDS BELOW. And then a big manly cheer YEY!!!!

7:00 PM  
Anonymous Mervyn Van Der Panda@BWFC and Leigh Centurions said...

Another nice chant, to the tune of the Adams Family theme

Your sister is your mother, Your Father is your brother, You're shagging one and other, The Wigan Family!!!!

8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

im a wigan fan and the best song ever that you probably heard at the game is: YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE!!!
MY ONLY SUNSHINE!!!
YOU MAKE ME HAPPY, WHEN SKIES ARE GREY!!!
YOU'LL NEVER NO DEAR, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!!
SO PLEAS DONT TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY!!!
ALL TOGETHER NOW (repeat song)
BLUE ARMY!!!
BLUE ARMY!!!

7:56 PM  

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