Can we take a break from nerd school for a second? I know that everyone loves arguing about the word "utilize," and once in a while we all need to show off our New York Times Op-Ed pieces, but enough z'nuff. Let's get back to talking about hot dogs. Or, better yet, let's talk about my favorite subject: good-ol'-fashioned scrappin'!
As I'm sure many of you newshounds are aware, two of modern music's greatest musical forces collided over the weekend. Yes, Scott Stapp and 311
got into an honest-to-goodness brawl:Stapp...came into the Harbor Court Hotel bar while [311 drummer] Sexton and band mates SA Martinez and P-Nut were watching basketball on television. He stepped in front of the screen and said, "311, I am ready to fight," according to Sexton.
Sexton said the band tried to defuse the situation, and Stapp went to the bar to drink. Later, he made "inappropriate" comments to Martinez's wife, and was confrontational with Sexton.
"All of a sudden, he clocked me in the left side of my face," Sexton said. "Then a huge fight broke out."Holy Shit!
I don't know which is more ridiculous, the deadpan expression "311, I am ready to fight," or Stapp's outfit in this picture:
The open shirt, leather jacket, flower necklace, actual
necklace and shit-eating grin just explode inside my mind.
Anyway, back to the facts, or 311's version of them. According to them, ultra-prick Scott Stapp walks into a bar, acts like a complete asshole and picks a fight with an entire band. I certainly don't care to award Scott Stapp any smart points at all, but something about this story smells a little fishy. I mean, WWJD?
Alas, it seems 311's account of the evening may be a little blurry (and knowing 311—which I don’t—possibly hallucinogenated, munchy-driven, and, one suspects, "dude, that Stapp guy is a total loser...let's kick his ass"-filled):But Jonathan Jordan, director of security at the hotel, said the incident was captured on security cameras. He said Stapp was "attacked" by several members of 311 and that it took two security guards to break up the fight.
"It was definitely started by 311," Jordan said.
Uh oh. Seems there's a problem with 311's 411. That's bad news, gentlemen. Not only did you think it'd be cool to beat up modern rock's lamest icon, but you got caught on tape doing it. And then you lied about who started the fight.
After a close reading of some of 311's work, this clash of the demigods starts to make sense. I'll leave you with a verse from their intellectual, art-rock commentary on relationships in these difficult times, a modern classic called "Fuck the Bullshit." Just fuck the bullshit, and get with it
Its time to throw down, so I said it
Words of wisdom, thatll keep yall guessing
Cause Im tired of playing and Im tired of messin around
With all yall suckers, and stupid mother fuckers
Who put down what I do
I stand alone with a groove thats new
Now that you know that the rhymes that I say
Are mine alone and I sure you dont play
I kick in your teeth, the condescending frown
Fuck the bullshit, its time to throw down
Words to live by, yes indeed.