Friday, October 14, 2005

UK Edition, Chapter 4: Having trouble naming your band?
Does anyone love Dr. Nordwind's presence on this blog-piece more than me? Absolutely not. Not only is he a very nice and funny man, but he makes my laziness less apparent. Respek.

(Seinfeld voice) Modern rock band names....what, is the deal, with that!?! (end Seinfeld voice) But seriously, did someone think Omnisoul was a good band name? Avenged Sevenfold? And, not to pick on any one label, but you have to look at the entire roster of Wind-up Records (solo artists and compliations excluded): 12 Stones, Alter Bridge, Atomship, Big Dismal, Breaking Point, Drowning Pool, Evanescence, Finger Eleven, Omnisoul, People in Planes, Seether, Strata, Submersed, The Exit. Save for People in Planes and The Exit, could you possibly cram more melodrama into a list of band names.

To that end we have crafted a list of potential band names for use with your own angst-ridden nu-metal or post-grunge rock outfit. Just plug-and-play!

15 Fist
Spite Revolver
Chrome Truth
Faith Cancer
Adrenaline Breakup
Angel Cortex
Thorn Logic
Stifle Mansion
Pain Glutton
Trounce Glamour
Carbon Chapter
Star Shaped Anger
Eve Dealer

The use of any band name requires a 15% finders fee made payable to OK Go (from here on known as "Bleed Cobalt")


(PS, Dan is our in-house band name generator. He reserves the right to update or append to this list at any time. Thank you.)


Anonymous slodwick said...

So... if my band was already called Faith Cancer, would I still have to pay the finders fee?

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i actually think nordwind is making you look bad, although i'd much rather read a rusty update...

that tim is an updating machine!

10:18 PM  
Anonymous RoRo said...

I actually shed a tear while laughing very hard to those names!


10:26 PM  
Anonymous Jade said...

Wow, I think you just listed every metal band in my area.

I also think I busted a gut reading those names!

12:35 AM  
Anonymous Alissa said...

Those fake band names are too close for comfort, methinks. OK Go blog posts always make my day because of things just like this. *laughs*

1:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh rusty you always make me laugh! and kudos on the new band name. i mean, just imagine it: "hey, i'm going to the bleed cobalt show! and pain glutton is opening! right on, dude!" doesn't get much cooler than that.

2:53 AM  
Anonymous krisan said...

these could also double as awesome screenames...

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about....calcium induced coma?

1:24 PM  
Anonymous karleigh the fabulous said...

I seriously like Adrenaline Breakup. So when is the new Bleed Cobalt album coming out? I can't wait to get tickets for their tour.


7:55 PM  
Anonymous agentnum2 said...

nice post... i make up names more like "sissor toast"...but what will happen to Bernie?!!! Tim i must know...Now!!!

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Harrison said...

Deadened Weenis
Bruise Cauldron
Audiosoul Blue
Facedrop Fixer
Shit Dealer
Forgotten Porpoise
Dropped Dead Deuce
Boileth Over
Burning Tinsel
Seven Frost 12
Big Ultrasonic
Shaft Engorged
Villain Club
Swing Knuckle Bleed
Funeral Tears Five
Bankrupt Soul
Grandma's Vulva
Zero Soulpod One
Hate In Flames
Tracy's Exit Wound
Dull Knife To The Skull
Excel Spreadcheeks

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i watched the video for a million ways. it was kind of a bad week, but it makes me really really happy. i'm a student at william and mary in williamsburg, va, and a member of UCAB, and i'm GRANDMASTER SUPREME excited that you are coming. ps. i think detritus and thorn logic are my favorites.

all the same,

9:04 AM  
Anonymous Mor said...

hello... i just wanted to tell you guys that my best friend will be going to your show in Chicago, and i'm jealous. i think you guys should really consider having a show in North Carolina, possibly in the Triangle area so i could be at your show. mmm hhh hmmm and you make me smile with your funny band names.
keep kicking ass like always

love always,

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Dana said...

Holy shite. How hilarious are the boys of OkGo. Rooooosty, your words have brightened up the dismal hour that is known as four period, and has given me something to do other than listen to the droning voice of Mrs. Reed. Thank you, Rusty/Andy. I would rather read your words over hearing her nasaly monotone any day. I love thee, I do.

My favorite is Stifle Mansion. When I get my death metal band together, that'll be it's name, and how awesome would it be for us to headline for Bleed Cobalt? Sweet action. Remember, of course, that this is all in a completley jocular tone, seeing as how you can't really relay that over the internet.


12:19 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay said...

imagonna start a band and call it serrated spoon. i wanted tolouse constantino but my friends all told me i was stoopid.

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Alyssa said...

Travel here, young grasshopper, to continue your education in poking fun at horrible modern rock bands (this time, it's Nickelback):

The hilarity could quite possibly blow your face off. PROMISE me you'll look at that...

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA! man, that nickelback thing is absolutely hilarious!

12:33 AM  
Anonymous frog_road_toad said...

My band names of the week:



Probably has something to do with how things are going these days around our house.

10:53 AM  
Anonymous major tom said...

k... i got one. tubular luggage.

5:01 PM  
Blogger The Sanity Inspector said...

The single greatest "mayhem" band name I ever heard was for a Myrtle Beach quintet named Phineas Gage. They are named after a real person in the 19th century who...well, just read about it here:

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

rusty, here are some more:
lamb of god
napalm death
dying fetus
slave corps
infernal majesty
cradle of flith


5:04 PM  
Anonymous Shane said...

As I have just finished a round of "Final Fantasy VII" on PlayStation, every one of the band names in this post sound to me like limit breaks. Especially Omnisoul.

5:13 PM  
Blogger porchwise said...

You got those names from a mad scientist writing on the walls of a mental ward, didn't you? Weird.

7:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool names. They all rock especially Tantro.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Jesse said...

I think Carbon Chapter sounds pretty cool.

With so many bands in existence, it's not easy to think up original names.

A few of the names you listed could actually make it.

9:20 PM  
Blogger C-8 said...

let's not leave the ladies out of this - a friend of mine said something looked like a Menstrual Streak the other day and I think that if I ever have get drugged, have my kidney stolen and wake up in a post-punk neo-feminist band, I hope it's called Menstrual Streak

(are all you guys grossed out enough yet?)

8:37 AM  
Blogger Dys said...

I don't know, I think you've left out a lot of odd band names already - lets not forget old favorites Nine Inch Nails and Korn. I think if I started a band, I'd either call it 'the taint' (because that's what we'd sound like, simply horrible) or 'We signed our record deal drunk and couldn't think of a witty name'.

Keep up the good work!

9:16 AM  
Blogger Think Frustrated said...

There's this great place near my house (I live in Palos Hills, IL). It's a salon named, get this, Taint and Notch Salon. Do those people actually take themselves seriously. Just for kicks, I went in there and it is a real salon! I was expecting to see a lot of dudes, face down on a table, getting their taints waxed and ditto for the ladies. Instead there were people getting their hair done, manicures, etc. My band's name will henceforth be called, Taint and Notch.

4:00 PM  
Blogger veryspecial_k said...

Rusty, I do love the. Can't wait to see you guys back in KC next weekend.
That aside, I remember a looong time ago I was watching Letterman and he had these "name you band" dice, and the first name he rolled I will never forget... Stomach Monkey. I bet my left big toe that that somewhere out there, that band now exists.

12:44 AM  

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